I totally destroyed my child’s thumb yesterday.
Her nails grow fast. Like freaky fast. We try to bathe her every other night, and I usually have to clip her nails after each bath. As she becomes more familiar with her arms and how to deal with them, she scratches her face less (she used to shred her face every time she cried, would not wear the mitten things, could not get her to stop) but scratches me more. I can’t find her nail clippers. It has been about a week since I trimmed her nails. My chest looks like I got in a fight with a feral cat. So I just broke down and decided to trim her nails with a regular trimmer, who needs a special baby thing anyway?
Ummmm, we do. The first nail I tried, I almost chopped off the top pad of her thumb. But I didn’t realize it at first. It had hurt her so badly and she had gotten so upset that she had that cry where she wasn’t breathing. So I didn’t hear a cry, I couldn’t see any blood, it looked like I maybe just got the top layer and everything would be fine. Shelby could see that she was crying/not breathing and was yelling at me to blow in her face. When I did, the crying kicked in very loudly, the blood started flowing, and my mommy panic alarm started going off.
I was able to stop the bleeding pretty quickly by sucking on her thumb and then pressing it up again the roof of my mouth with my tongue. (I know gross right? But I do this for myself all the time. It’s totally fine.) I can definitely tell the difference between an annoyed gassy cry and a legit pain cry. My baby is LOUD. Her tears were dripping onto my shoulder. It was traumatic. 10 minutes later however, you would have never guessed anything was wrong. She was giggling while Shelby “ate her neck” and smiling in her seat.
Things seem to be settling at home as well as can be expected. Jason died early morning Monday the 8th. Shelby called me home as soon as he had called 911, and when I realized we wouldn’t be accompanying our guest to the hospital where I could leave him in the hands of a knowledgeable physician, I informed my boss I would not be coming back in to the office. We had a sprinkling of Jason’s close friends come over and spend most of the day Monday. Beth and Natalie stayed the night. Beth stayed until I got home Tuesday. They spent the time grieving, reminiscing, gathering his belongings, washing his dirty clothes. And then Beth loaded all of it into his car and drove away. There are no physical reminders of his stay plaguing Shelby. He is coping.
He is still sad. Of course he is. We read an announcement about a new Harry Potter book coming out. Shelby loves Harry Potter. We read them to each other way back when we were dating. But I didn’t realize he was introduced (or at least encouraged to geek out) by Jason. When I genuinely asked how he felt about this continuation of a story he loved, he said he felt excited, but mostly sad that Jason would never get to read it. He is gloomy, but can still find opportunities to smile and laugh. I am so glad for Hannah. She keeps him from being too enveloped in sadness. How could she not with her ludicrous smile? She needs him in a way he can’t ignore and that keeps him going. He is working. He is getting out of the house.
We continue to get updates about the townhouse as well. There have been lots of showings but no applications as yet. It would seem our biggest downfall is our craptastic kitchen. I shouldn’t say craptastic, I should say standard. There aren’t many townhomes for rent in the area, but those that are available apparently have recently updated kitchens with newer appliances and fancy counter tops. We simply can’t afford to replace anything in there right now. Not until we get the dang thing rented anyway. Then we can look at all types of enhancements to both our houses. In the meantime, we lowered the rate and offered a temporary cosmetic fix to see if it would help generate applications.
Things at work are picking up for both of us. I am getting lots of positive feedback and feel like I am in a good place regarding my workload and how my boss feels I am doing. Shelby has the theatre almost completely booked for the year. His negotiated contracts seem to be consistently working in his favor so that helps keep him motivated. This “part-time” position runs him pretty ragged, so it is nice that he gets emotionally rewarded for it. There is even talk of increasing his compensation soon which would be awesome.
So we are hanging in there, our little family unit. It is frightening/awe inspiring/astounding how quickly Hannah continues to grow and how much she learns. I’ll be able to work from home some soon, so Shelby and I can have a little better distribution of parental duties and give him some time to make appointments for himself during the day. All in all, despite the rough start to the month, 2016 is looking to be a pretty good year.