I think I am allowed now to say, for the official record, that Hannah is expecting a new cousin to join the family in late spring/early summer 2017.
Commence freaking out on behalf of my sister.
My pregnancy was by no means difficult, extraordinary, or remarkable in any way. We trudged through with relatively minor discomforts, no concerns until the end, and eagerly anticipated our new arrival just about every step of the way. We were as prepared as we could have been, though have made many discoveries since our little bundle of joy arrived. I lapped up all advice from other mothers, listened to stories, read blogs, read articles, and consider myself to be pretty realistic on all accounts anyway, so everything was just as dandy as could be expected. That doesn’t stop my still somewhat anxious brain from trying to stifle all of my wisdom from exploding onto the expecting couple.
I’ve been pretty good I think. Offering suggestions from my experience, reiterating that their experience will be their own and there is nothing any other mother (however recent) can say that will absolutely work for their situation. I feel like I’ve been relatively quiet and have only provided details about what absolutely did not work for us and why. But all the quiet has only brought up all the things and has made my crazy brain that much crazier. My dreams are getting a little out of control.
For example, let’s review last night’s dream shall we??
First – they are not due for another 5ish months, but I dreamt they already had the baby. For some reason though, this was not early enough to cause concern and everything was just peachy. As a testament to how OK everything was, (Cor, prolly don’t want to read this part unless you want my freaking out to bleed over…) their baby was 16 pounds. 16 pounds!!! We were all together, staying in some sort of wintery zombie apocalypse hippie commune thing so were truly invested in this baby as a source for continued humanity and not just as the neat little thing a family member was caring for. (Perhaps a bit too much of the board game Dead of Winter?)
For whatever reason, I was more invested in keeping up my sister than in her baby. I was constantly hoisting my glider onto my back to put it in whatever room of whatever hut/grocery store they had fled to to try and escape me. I lectured her about timers for feedings, the importance of keeping her own resources up for the sake of the baby; her husband could fend for himself, but she needed sustenance. I confiscated the young one for several hours to ensure my sister got sleep. I posted husbands outside her door to give her the assurance she needed that she would not be attacked. I was very territorial. Even my own mother knew better than to cross me.
Incidentally, another woman at work is expecting a baby at roughly the same time. She was also in my dream. She was not nearly as important. In the hopes of not obliterating your faith in me as a person entirely, I actually at one point suggested sacrificing this woman because I believed her nutrient rich body full of hormones and productivity would benefit my sister and her newborn in ways that canned beans could not. Plus, she was just stealing resources from the rest of us in a ratio disproportionate to her anticipated due date. Thankfully, I was overruled and the species was allowed to continue.
This is pretty routine for my dreams these days; some compilation of almighty wisdom and surrogate parenting mixed in with a(n un)healthy dose of weight of the world responsibility for the upbringing of a new generation. I also recently dreamt that Hannah and her cousins (all male) were the leaders of their respective clans a la Game of Thrones North of the Wall type silliness, but that all clans bowed to Hannah since she could climb the highest. Further dreams include taking over hospitals, airplanes, and 1920’s style train cars for the delivery of all newborns, leading birthing and new parenting classes at Duke University, and raising a generation of toddlers in a snake pit similar to Indiana Jones or the Chamber of Secrets.
I have “normal” dreams too, like vacationing at the beach and taking Hannah to Disney World (which we will be doing this spring). Stressful dreams of raking leaves, packing Christmas decorations, and spreadsheets. But these are being edged out or morphing into civilization saving dreams of mass importance.
Anyway, time for me to save the planet through the power of Project Management.