Also known as the night from hell.
We’ve been doing this on-again off-again sleep thing with Hannah and it is driving me bonkers. She sleeps really well for about 4 nights in a row, N then… NOPE! NOT GONNA AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME. Last night was such a night.
It’s been about a week since her last disrupted evening. She’s given a few coughs at 3 AM but never enough to wake herself up. I’ve been secretly hoping we were over this hump, but always waking with a start at any sound emerging from the direction of her room. Ticking time bomb and all. Last night the bomb exploded.
I finally fell asleep hard. I started reading a book, but fell asleep about 12 seconds in and was completely dead to the world. Until the ear shattering shriek came from her room. It seemed to start this violently as it brought Shelby running and he will usually yield to my wishes and let her grunt for a few minutes before trying to intervene. She squealed like her legs were being broken. At 1:30 AM.
I let Shelby take the first shift. He held her, rocked her, sang to her, and made her a bottle since that seemed to work in less than 30 minutes the last time. All the while, I was lying in the bed listening with the intensity of a thousand suns. He eventually gave in and brought her to the bed with me, confirming that she was indeed “so close” and just needed to be held in the supine position. She breathed shallowly, slowly, her body was loose and relaxed. And then, from out of nowhere, she got a second wind. She was sitting, standing, crawling all over the bed. Trying to jump down, trying to hide in the pillows, trying to…I don’t know…conquer the universe. She was manifestly not sleeping.
I could only handle about 5 minutes of this situation and decided to take her back into her bedroom for some rocking and snuggling. She spent the entire time “climbing” up my belly and trying to get out of my arms, but when I put her down, she cried and wanted to be picked up. We battled this way for a bit before she finally decided it was playtime and started pulling everything off her shelves. I put her nursery rhymes on my phone (side note, I totally learned how to make it so touch is turned off at my command in an app so I can start videos, let Hannah hold the device, and she won’t buy stuff or sign me up for notifications or say “blah wah gfhuhoe;efh” to Siri who then gets very confused and blocks my phone for 45 minutes) and got “comfortable” on the floor. I just let her run around like a crazy person. She would pull stuff off the shelves, grab my phone and bang it on stuff, then sit and stare at it for a bit bobbing her head along to the music. Rinse and Repeat.
We went through about an hour and 1/2 of this before I stopped giving in to her every whim. At quarter to 4, mommy was losing patience with the whole tire herself out thing. I didn’t let her hold the phone anymore. If she wanted to see the video, she would have to lay down beside me. She was not a fan of that plan and started shrieking again. I thought at the top of her lungs. I decided that if she was just going to shriek anyway, I would put her back in the crib so I didn’t have to think about bookshelves falling on her but to my surprise, her shrieking got much louder and much more intense.
I pulled her back out of the crib and into the rocking chair. No dice. I squeezed her diaper and came to the conclusion that she could use a change. It was mid diaper change when Shelby came in with some Tylenol and another bottle. He offered to take over, but he hadn’t slept at all yet. But she reached for him when she was all snapped up and there was no changing her mind. So he brought her downstairs and I followed them, might as well get a start on the work day since it was now 5:30 in the morning.
At about 6, Shelby took her back upstairs. At some point she fell asleep in his arms and he finally felt confident enough to try putting her back in the crib. At 6:30 I went back up to lay down for just a minute. at 7:30, I woke with a start to her cries from her bedroom.
None of us have had much sleep. We are a grumpy crowd today. Part of me is very glad today is a work from home day. Part of me is really wishing I could be at the office taking a nap under my desk and not listening to a grumpy almost 1 year old. Shelby does not have rehearsal tonight and has been sleeping for a while now. I expect a negotiation where I get to disappear for a few hours for some relaxation. If only I had a cabana boy on speed dial.
This time last year, I was massively pregnant and desperately praying for an early delivery. That did not happen. We were moving house and all of our Halloween decorations were boxed up at my parents’ house. I was itchy, cranky, and sooooo not interested in trying to come up with a creative costume.
Not much has changed. 😉
Halloween has long been my favorite holiday. Dressing up. Playing a character. Getting candy. No gift anxiety. Parties. Magic. I’ve long been a fan of horror films and safe scaring; haunted houses and creepy cornfields. And all of the glories of the holiday are just getting exposed to Hannah.
She has no fear. She loves to be scared when she walks around corners, often waddling cautiously into the room looking side-eyed around the door-frame and giggling when you shout “boo“. She grabbed the gigantic spider decoration by the legs and shook it around, threw it and watched it bounce. She stood in front of the motion sensing crow and banged the chair to make it squawk. She took the bones we have strewn about the front lawn and just carried them around. She chewed up the grave stones.
This year she will get dressed up. I am excited to dress up as a family, with a theme (I can already hear her 8 year old self – OMG mom just stop). I think it will be fun even if all we do is walk around the front yard. She’ll stay at home with us and pass out candy. We put our house on the list at Nextdoor.com so maybe we’ll get more trick-or-treaters this year. Regardless, we will have a flippin good time watching Hannah try to navigate her costume.
Maybe we’ll get some fun adult time in before the holiday. Maybe we’ll put her to bed and sneak off to a party or something though I totally doubt it. We be old and tired.
And then a few short days later (though they seemed epic last year), my baby will turn 1. We kept her alive for one whole year. There will be partying. But first thing’s first, Scary Movie Night!!!! Who’s up for “The Shining”?
Hallelujah! The weather is turning. I fully expect in the ridonculous tradition of N. Carolina that we will get at least one night of frost before a 100 degree afternoon, but for now we are sitting pleasantly in 60ish degree nights and mornings and low 70 afternoon/evenings. And it is glorious.
The windows and doors are open. Sorta. I mean, literally the second I opened the back door, both the baby and the cat were like “FREEDOM” and bolted for the back porch. She is her mother’s daughter. Lord help me.
The devious bastard of a cat punched a hole in the screened in back porch so he could come and go off the porch as desired. Its mostly fine. He tore the seam right along the door frame so it’s not like a gaping hole that lets everything in, and it’s not as if the porch was bug tight anyway. The problem is that Hannah loves him so very much. And she follows him wherever she can. So when he bolts out the door, under the table, and through the screen hole, Hannah toddles after him slow and steady before dropping herself in front of the door and trying to crawl through the hole to get to him. She would absolutely fit if she could just get her coordination under control. This is terrifying as this porch door is at the top of a fairly steep 6 or seven stairs to a lower section of the porch.
My kid just totally dumped over a plant, picked up two of the tiny little white fertilizer pellet things from the soil, and slowly shoved one in each nostril.
I am very much looking forward to building a couple more fires. We live in the county so we are basically encouraged to burn everything rather than take it to the dump. We also have a crap ton of trees that like to drop logs on a pretty regular basis. I have already burned through a large recycling bin worth of debris and some pretty sizable logs that I chopped myself. But there is still plenty to go and the weather is perfect for it.
Hannah turns one next month. I can’t believe it. We’ve almost kept her alive for an entire year. Go team! We still have no idea what we’re going to do, but hopefully it will involve some cake, some fire, and some warmer clothes for Hannah because she refuses to wear socks. Grr.