Halfway through August and I am left feeling just as scrambled and out of sorts as the month Hannah was born. I constantly remind myself that I need to get this birthday present, send that Thank You card, and then get completely distracted by the billion tiny things my over anxious self can’t stop stressing about. I’m frustrated about the laundry, the dishes, the yardwork, the work work, and I can’t turn any of it off. So Caki, Liam, both middle children, I haven’t forgotten that I owe you birthday gifts, or cards for that matter. I promise I still love you. I’d say expect something soon, but then I’d let another month go by and everyone would just feel bad. I’ll say thank you for your continued patience and expect a birthday present before Christmas.

Holy crap Christmas.

Another big important person at work just quit. Trying to find people to cover her work is not going to be pretty. My lead PM for most of my studies is taking two weeks off. She lives in a country where that is the norm, she got two years paid for maternity leave. I’m happy for her, but that means the next two weeks are basically going to be horrible. And Shelby has rehearsal almost every night so it’s not like I can stay late to get caught up on anything.

Speaking of, Shelby is in rehearsal every night for what seems to be a very exciting and hilarious adaptation of “The Scottish Play”. Macbeth. Its set in a 1960s (?) accounting firm in Wichita, Kansas. Should be pretty good.

Since you’re dieing to know, I’m doing pretty well on the weight thing. It still fluctuates a bit too much for my liking, and still causes me great grief when I’m feeling sensitive about life generally, but I am making progress. I’m at 8 pounds heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight. So while that is good, and steps in a positive direction, that still means I am 18 pounds from my ideal weight. I have lost 37 pounds since her birth 9 months ago. That’s an average of 9 pounds/mo but we all know most of that happened when I popped out an 8 pound baby and assorted goodies. But positive thinking, I could be at my ideal weight in the next 2 months. Or I could continue to lose and plateau and almost get to my goal but never quite make it. I am trying to be ok with that. I am much more ok with myself than I was before. Until I see a picture or video. And then I can’t decide if I want to fast for a week, or binge eat a box of doughnuts.

I’m tired. She’s finally napping a bit, and I have laundry half done. I am so tired of having everything half done. So I’ll wrap up this super up-beat post and go put Olympics on in the background of my epic pity party.

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