No baby. I have started having irrational arguments with the unborn; squishing her and confining her and pushing her down every time I feel her little feet stretch up under my ribs. WRONG WAY DARLIN.
And I’m not the only one. Our friend was 5 days late with her second child before welcoming a healthy baby boy last month. A cousin was due two days before me and still hasn’t delivered her third child. And this is my first, which according to google, is obviously the latest child anyone ever had ever. TIMELINES BABY. Now you are messing with timelines in the wrong direction. Fix it.
Speaking of timelines being all wonky. The carpet people finally called. They are scheduled to install on Monday afternoon. I had hoped to have an answer on what we’re doing with the TH before November 1, but whatever. Clearly no one is considering my timeline anymore (shouted very loudly in the direction of my belly button). Since the carpet install has been scheduled, the cleaning service my sis and mom so graciously helped us out with has been contacted to schedule the complete and utter scrub down.
So. Baby. You must arrive tonight/tomorrow so you will get to meet one of your Aunties and not screw up her entire visit by being in the hospital and also not screw up the carpet and cleaning. Thank you.
P.S. I know your dad said try to hold on until November, but he was being silly. He totally said it’s ok. So you can come now.
P.P.S. This is not how assistant stage managers behave. If you’re early you’re on time and if you’re on time you’re late. So you are very very late. I’m gonna need you to do better.