Domesticated

What a weekend.

Friday was pretty typical. I got home from work, helped with dinner prep, brought some boxes into the house and packed a few things away. And then I went to bed super early, cuz, have I mentioned pregnant?

I was genuinely looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday. The chilly mornings have always made it difficult for me to extract myself from the warmth of the covers, but add to that the fact that it is physically quite difficult at the moment and you have quite the grumpy whale in the morning (and also slow, and usually late). The expectation of a long and leisurely arousal on Saturday was just enough light in this never ending pregnancy tunnel to keep me from completely breaking down. Of course, Saturday morning came and I woke up on my own (sans alarm) at 10 to 8 and almost cried. I rolled over and adamantly refused to get out of bed, but didn’t sleep any more. I finally gave up at about 9:30 and toddled out to the loft to watch some crap TV and fold some laundry.

Saturday the Huz and I  got dressed in real people clothes, went out into the rain, and drove out to the theatre to take care of a few things, clean a few things, and take a bit of inventory. We were going to go out for food, but couldn’t agree on what we were hungry for so we just went home and cooked together instead. I was feeling pretty sore so I packed a few more things, spent a lot of time in the horizontal position (folding laundry on your side should be a recognized skill), and got some carpet measurements before calling it another early night.

Sunday we continued our foray into adulthood by going to Lowe’s. We did some fantasy browsing at ovens (the new house has a broken coil on the stove top and the oven is pretty outdated anyway) and a quick walk-thru of the general kitchen area to look at counters and lighting, but our real purpose was to nail down carpeting. We have to replace the carpet in the townhouse. It was dismal when I moved in, and has died a slow and horrible death over the last several years. Cherry NyQuil stains that look like actual blood spatter, bits of sauce covered food ground in and covered with milk, juice, wine, diet coke and beer spills, stretch marks and slips and wrinkles and bald spots, and soooooooooo much dirt. But knowing that we aren’t going to be staying there, we are not prepared to spend a lot. I basically told the flooring guy “We are moving out and need to replace the carpet. We want the cheapest possible deal without looking like it’s the cheapest. Help?” He very kindly took us from the front of the department where the fancy crap is to the back of the department where the in stock stuff is. We made a quick decision and got entered into the system. In stock means they can technically install within a week from the official measurements and official measurements should be scheduled within 48 hours. So that should all be handled pretty easy breezily. Check!

We made a quick stop at Wal-Mart for a vaccination (that husband of mine sure does like to procrastinate) and then headed home for some more cooking and packing. However, on the super short car ride home, the little gremlin attacked. She has settled herself quite inconveniently on a bundle of very sensitive nerves. One of these sensitive nerves is the sciatic nerve. It mostly goes unnoticed when she is still, but the second she starts to squirm I am rendered inoperable. I can feel a bit of a kick in my upper right ribs and then a shooting burning pain that starts veeeeeeeeeeery low in my back and then wraps around my hip to the front crook of my leg. It lasts all of two seconds and doesn’t happen again unless she is still squirming, and at the moment it only happens on my right side. I am convinced this is her head vying for space and not false labor or whatever. But it sucks. It is quite literally a pain in the ass. And it cripples me. Like, stops my right leg from being able to support my body even a little bit for several minutes afterward. Now imagine that happening when you’re trying to carry a load of laundry up the stairs. Shelby put me on unofficial bed rest at the house.

So instead of helping the Huz in the kitchen, something I have actually been enjoying lately, I was back on the couch researching the best installation methods and placement for Graco rear facing infant car seats in a Honda Fit. Dang people have some stuff to say. About either the Honda Fit, or which car seats fit in a Honda Fit, or which car seats are the best and how dare you put your child in anything else you horrible horrible parent, but almost no useful information about where to put a car seat in a Honda Fit. Not even the owners manual for the Honda seemed to have an opinion (big kid front facing car seats are best behind the front passenger, rear facing infant seats should be installed in the car, gee thanks). I know most baby books suggest the rear center seat is the safest, but here are the main factors we were considering…1) The Fit has a Pope Mobile sized windshield and we wanted to see if anyone had experienced a front impact crash and what the glass situation would be. 2) The obnoxious debate over securing the car seat with the LATCH system vs the seat-belt system because the Fit does not have the ability to secure by LATCH in the rear center seat. 3) General functionality of the Fit magic seats and getting all the rest of the baby gear (like strollers) and/or traveling bags (for trips to Nana’s) while not sacrificing the safety of the child. Ultimately, since we couldn’t figure out/remember if our specific Fit had side curtain airbags and the owner’s manual for the car seat reiterated that seat belt installation was just as safe, we decided to roll with the majority and just install the dang thing in the rear center seat. If we don’t like it, we’ll move it. But I read the entire manual, figured out how to install the car seat in the car and the child in the car seat, how to adjust for growth and tighten the straps and disassemble for washing and blah blah blah. All that’s left to do is actually put it in the car.

So many non-helpful “opinions”. My sister actually posted about this recently which is why I am probably giving it more thought than I normally would. It really frustrates me when I attempt to use the internet the way it was intended, to quickly look up and/or compare data points from multiple resources, and end up dropped right in the middle of a comment war that has little to do with what I am researching. Low level commenting, nit picking and bullying because someone chose something different. Outright name calling for posting a link that may have worked in 2009 when the comment was originally posted, but that doesn’t work in 2014 when someone else is so graciously chiming in with their humble opinion. I’m relatively thick skinned, and I am relatively confident in the choices I have made, particularly as it pertains to baby gear (particularly as most of it is second hand), but I shudder at the poor insecure first time moms who are left questioning every product, every decision, every piece of research about crib paint and plastic vs glass bottles and nipple confusion and the size of your stroller and and AND. For crying out loud – clearly this parenting thing is a crapshoot. You work your way through it as a family (even if “family” consists of you and the baby alone). I refuse to bullied about formula vs breastfeeding or whether babies sleep on their backs or tummies cuz you know what? Trends change. And what my mom did for me was probably different than what her mom did for her but one of those is probably very similar to what is recommended I do for my daughter. And we all lived to talk about it. Well, my daughter technically hasn’t lived to talk about it yet, but you get my point. I appreciate helpful advice, I appreciate anecdotal evidence, but rest assured I will take your comment in the spirit it was given. Which is to say, if you are being a jerky jerk faced jerk, I will accept your comment as an admission of your idiocy and reject your data as irrelevant.

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One thought on “Domesticated

  1. Almost done, girl. This truly is the worst torture, I remember it well. The heartburn, random hip/leg/back pain, the anticipation and inability to predict labor day, Baby’s so heavy but nobody can carry her except you, plus on top of the physical struggle you’ve got the emotional mind-meld of OMG I’M HAVING A KID WHAT DO I DO AUGH! And you already aren’t sleeping and just thinking about how little sleep you’re about to get makes you panicky and OH! Lord it sucks. Just a couple more weeks. I wish we had enough maternity leave in this country to let us all stop working in the last few weeks while also preserving our precious post-delivery time off, but alas. If wishes were fishes.

    Car seat’s kind of a crap shoot, too I think, though middle is probably best given side impact concerns. But speaking of pains in the back . . . eventually it gets pretty tough to get Baby in there without doing all kinds of contorted back-wrenching moves, esp. if you’re lifting the whole carseat bucket thing+Baby into the snappy bottom part (rather than just lifting Baby herself). We always did as close to the middle of the car as we could get, until it stopped working well because we’re old and he’s heavy, and then just moved him over to where we could buckle him without having to do yoga stretches first. You may consider going to a fire station to have you both learn how to install it – they usually will teach you for free and can share with you the tips to get that beast in there as tightly as possible, with no slack.

    The “what kind of idiot mother” stuff only increases from here. I try super hard not to read it, though nobody can avoid it entirely, and of course it also occurs in real life (though less often, people are too chicken to say it to your face). Keep that thick skin mantra. It will serve you well.

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