Why I Love My Husband

It’s just like fishing. You can’t get upset about not catching anything, you just have to enjoy sitting on the water.

…was his response to my disappointing attitude about almost everything lately. I’ve been applying for job changes (no word yet mom) and we’ve been looking for houses online to see what we can agree on. We’ve talked to friends about their recent housing experiences and got a high recommendation for a local Realtor.

And yet, we’ve continued to make almost no progress. My attitude has not improved. I recognize that it is not helpful.

And so rather than focusing on the progress we haven’t made, he encouraged me to focus on the little changes we are making. And the old cliché, experiencing life rather than waiting for it to happen.

I am not fixed. But I am feeling better. The house is cleaner. The air is crisper. I am hopeful I can enjoy my favorite season without being a sour puss all the time.

I am also hopeful that the small changes will continue to grow, and the momentum will continue forward, and that I will have new and exciting things to write about.

Medical Updates

Since I know you are dying to know.

Gut surgery was canceled. The surgery was postponed due to heart rate and blood pressure but was supposed to happen last week. The surgery was canceled the day of because of excess fluid. Apparently, 3 gallons of fluid had to be released. It is unlikely the surgery will be rescheduled within the next three months. For the foreseeable future, I am on my own with recruitment.

The last I heard, the brain surgery went well. The majority of the tumor was removed; the rest is of little concern. The patient is up and about, though obviously taking it super easy. He is in good spirits. Apart from surviving the surgery, his primary fear was how close the tumor was to the file cabinet of his brain. I have not heard if his memory was impacted or what implications this might have with his occupational responsibilities.

In the meantime, another of our people was feeling off and went to the doctor for a quick check up. Some incoherent phone calls later, we learned she is in a medically induced coma that they have been unsuccessful in reviving her from. Things are not looking well for her recovery.

BoE

We open tonight, and we are already sold out of 2 performances. It has been a unique experience.

I have been involved in several living history productions, but this is different. This is barely history. And the main character is still living. And will be at our performance.

It’s no secret that politics make me uncomfortable. I have no sense of moral obligation for or against any particular party or event. I find the thought of being perpetually angry at a group of people I haven’t met upsetting. I have plenty to be angry about, I don’t need to go searching for hate in the specter of Republican or Democrat or Tea Party or Green Party or whatever. And I’ve lived a pretty coosh life. I haven’t been victim to racial/age/gender discrimination or severe poverty. At least not so blatantly as to even be considered, I just don’t think that way. I have no children so the status of the country’s schools means nothing to me personally. And until things mean something to me personally, it is difficult for me to get energized. To be energized personally is difficult. To be energized on behalf of someone I’ve never met is even more difficult. And to take the hard line for or against discrimination and poverty seems representative of a dog chasing his own tail, running around in circles just to bite our own selves in the ass. A bit of a chicken v egg scenario. I am extremely good at accepting both arguments, and without the passion to get hepped up and actually live in the gutters or the glass houses, I can listen to horrific accounts and feel compassionate about your situation, but I cannot find it in my psyche to rally on your behalf.

I know, we have already established that I am a pretty cold-hearted and self-centered person. At least I have the audacity to admit it.

Having said all of that, this particular theatrical endeavor has been frightening, and rewarding, and moving. It happened in my “home town”. Two people fueled with hatred at each other for no other reason than the company they kept. Two people who drew a hard line in the concrete (sand be damned) and refused to accept each other as human beings. Horrendously cruel people willing to do whatever it took to prove they were right; forced to sit in the same room with the exact person they vowed to kill. Forced to consider a situation from the human point of view. Forced to uncloak the specter of Black and White and find truth in human behavior.

It’s a good show. It’s a meaningful show. It’s a story worth telling. I’m happy to be a part of the sharing. I hope it inspires people to get hepped up and choose sides. To fight for what they know is right. To continue striving for something better while I politely accept what I have been given and keep clear the paths others have boldly set down.