Today I am Worthless

I am solely functioning as a seat warmer today. I am not awake, I am not concentrating, and I am certainly not about to start doing work! I am busy stressing over inconsequential things, like how I am going to fit all the presents in the car. What if Shelby packs it while I’m at work. Worse, what if he packs it WRONG?! Or, what if he doesn’t pack it at all and then we’re late! Not that we have a deadline to be anywhere.

I think while planning for the wedding my body adjusted to being constantly in motion, constantly panicky, constantly considering every possible outcome and planning for it in advance. Even though the wedding is long behind us, my hands still shake and my mind still races. I can’t even begin to imagine what horrible human I will turn into when I have children and have something real to worry about.

We went over to our friend/yoga teacher’s house last night to spread a little Christmas cheer. She has two kids, one of which reminds me of me. Mini me is about 8 and is a total wreck. She and I spent most of the evening running around the circle that is her house. She likes to poke and kick. She doesn’t realize I poke and kick back. On one lap, we noticed her older brother was busily moving wads of cash from his pocket to the couch. Of course our objective became playfully stealing his money, thus pestering the crap out of him. Oh the good ol’ days.

I am anxiously counting each tick of the clock. I am as excited as a child on Christmas Day. I cannot wait to be home. First Christmas with the new BIL (Brother in Law). First Christmas Jack will actually realize what is happening and will not hide what he likes and doesn’t like. First Christmas for Liam’s new stocking.

I love Christmas!

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