Today I am Worthless

I am solely functioning as a seat warmer today. I am not awake, I am not concentrating, and I am certainly not about to start doing work! I am busy stressing over inconsequential things, like how I am going to fit all the presents in the car. What if Shelby packs it while I’m at work. Worse, what if he packs it WRONG?! Or, what if he doesn’t pack it at all and then we’re late! Not that we have a deadline to be anywhere.

I think while planning for the wedding my body adjusted to being constantly in motion, constantly panicky, constantly considering every possible outcome and planning for it in advance. Even though the wedding is long behind us, my hands still shake and my mind still races. I can’t even begin to imagine what horrible human I will turn into when I have children and have something real to worry about.

We went over to our friend/yoga teacher’s house last night to spread a little Christmas cheer. She has two kids, one of which reminds me of me. Mini me is about 8 and is a total wreck. She and I spent most of the evening running around the circle that is her house. She likes to poke and kick. She doesn’t realize I poke and kick back. On one lap, we noticed her older brother was busily moving wads of cash from his pocket to the couch. Of course our objective became playfully stealing his money, thus pestering the crap out of him. Oh the good ol’ days.

I am anxiously counting each tick of the clock. I am as excited as a child on Christmas Day. I cannot wait to be home. First Christmas with the new BIL (Brother in Law). First Christmas Jack will actually realize what is happening and will not hide what he likes and doesn’t like. First Christmas for Liam’s new stocking.

I love Christmas!

Songs

Here is a list of all the songs stuck in my head today. Enjoy!

Jingle Bells (of the Batman smells variety)

Katie Perry’s Alien

Spoonful of Christmas (from the play)

White Christmas

Just Dance

Something that goes “it ain’t about the money, money, money…” and that is all I know. So that loop has been fun.

Jukebox Saturday Night

Cockney version of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Poker Face

and last but certainly not least…

The Spice Girls’ Wannabe – so tell me what you want what you really really want.

Crazy?

What a Wonderful World

Such a great weekend.

This was closing weekend for Trailer Park Christmas, a cute show written by some local folks that went up and down for its 4th year this month. We had so much fun! The actors (for the most part) were genuine, sincere people that we will get to see and hang out with again. As a matter of fact, we already have a play date/game night set up for January!

It was a wonderful closing. The house was sparse on Thursday, and it took them a few minutes to feel like they were allowed to laugh, but we won them over in pretty short order and they had themselves a great time. Friday was a sold out show. Saturday was so over-sold, we threw in extra chairs all over the place and even added floor seating! Sunday was a fairly well sold show, about 20 short from full, but a rowdy closing audience none the less.

An hour later, the set was struck, the champagne uncorked, and the celebrations began. Sadly, the Huz and I had to leave early to dash over to the Librarian’s house for dinner. Her Huz is Moroccan, and a fantastic chef, and every once in a while, likes to entertain his friends with fantastic (holy crap it’s so delicious) food. FREE! And he is very generous. No miniscule portions for us. Last night’s menu consisted of butternut squash risotto followed by roasted chestnuts, brussels sprouts, and chestnut puree. Add to that the bacon wrapped pheasant devoured by the meat eaters and you have a pretty solid meal. But we weren’t through yet! Crushed biscotti under a dollop of chocolate mousse and drizzled with Moroccan espresso was served for dessert. I ate so much, my stomach hurt. It still hurts!

And then we played a bit of poker. I was feeling so very uncomfortable, and not really interested in the game, so I played pretty poorly and was the first to be kicked out. Suited me just fine though. The Librarian recently purchased a Wii and Dance Party 3, so I turned that mess on and shook my already sensitive belly until I nearly exploded. Nothing like a good sweat while you’re at your friend’s for dinner.

And now, I have a quiet week of barley working to muddle through before a week off to spend with (probably) you. Can’t wait!!

No We Are NOT Your Punching Bag!!!!

I don’t know who happens upon this blog that may not know my history, but let me give you the brief employment run-down. I work in Human Resources, the principal’s office of any business. I work with 4 other ladies. We are all nice people. We work hard in a thankless job. We hire, yes we also fire if employees are not doing what they are supposed to do, we make sure there are paychecks, and we organize fantastic parties (among a bazillion other things). So when we want to participate, keep your snappy attitude to yourself stupid employee! The way we do every time we have to talk to you.

Today’s scenario…

As part of our Winterfest/End of Year celebration, we brought back the door decorating contest.  This is an opportunity for departments to work as a team, develop an idea, tap into their creativity, and decorate their doors or windows. The winners get a pizza party. We saw some fantastic displays from gingerbread houses, to ski slopes, to winter carnivals with snowmen riders. HR is in the process of training a new employee, trying to fill about 30 positions, wrapping up year-end, and several HUGE employee relations issues. We have no time for door decorating, but we also understand the need to lead by example and participate with smiling faces. So we threw up some blue plastic table covering, cut some fancy snowflakes out of printer paper, and made some cute little snowmen sculptures with our names on them.

As we were assembling our masterpiece, an employee walked down the hall and muttered under her breath “HR better not win.”

“Excuse us?”

“You shouldn’t be allowed to win.”

“Why not? Are we not employees? Shouldn’t we get the chance to be appreciated?”

“You can participate. But you shouldn’t win.”

“So we’re just supposed to plan the event, organize the contest, organize the judges, provide the prizes, work straight through all the events, and then not be able to participate with the chance to win? Why is that?”

“Because.”

Great come back. But seriously, how about a word of kindness? Nice door. Was that so hard? Clearly we’re not going to win, so just shut your mouth about it if you can’t say anything nice.

This is not to mention the childish employees that boycotted our end of year meal just because management paid for it. We recently found out they weren’t doing their jobs, and instead of firing them, made them do their jobs, so now they are boycotting anything from management. Smart. More food for me! More prizes for the grown-ups who are wearing their big boy pants.

 

Yikes!

I threw away my rings.

I lectured Shelby, the non-jewelry wearer, about making sure he didn’t leave his ring somewhere until I got it insured, and then I threw mine away. I don’t know how it happened! I take my rings off before I get in the shower. It’s kinda silly I know, but every little bit I can do to keep them shiny is worth it at this early stage. (Helps me also avoid things like having to do the dishes.) I usually set them on the corner of the sink (but would love to set them in the little jewelry holder thingie on my registry *family hint*) along with my unmentionables. I suppose when I scooped my lady’s garments off the sink, I scooped my rings right into the trash can.

Imagine my panic when I couldn’t find them.

I had heard Shoobs come in to use the restroom (honeymoon is over) and was terrified they went down the toilet. I checked and double checked the pockets of my robe. I even checked the pockets of my jeans, which was absurd because they had been hanging in the closet at the time the rings went missing.

We were rushing out the door for the play. I didn’t have time! But there was no way I was going all night without finding them. So, I sat myself on the floor and started digging through the trash. I almost gave up out of disgust, Just then, I saw a shiny! Sure enough, my wedding band was stuck in the fold of a tissue! I had to keep going now.

The engagement ring is a little heavier, so I had to go through every ounce of trash before I found it, happily swimming in beard hair at the bottom of the bag.

I will never lose these again. I’ll be dipped if I’m going through that heart attack just to be so grossed out I nearly lost them again while scrubbing them in the sink.

And now Shelby has bragging rights. I lost my rings (if only for a few minutes) and he hasn’t. Crap.

Tech Week

For those who may not know, tech week sucks every ounce of energy and patience from you. As does my job this week.

Shoobs made me dinner which he then had to bring to rehearsal last night since I didn’t get off work until 6:10 (giving me just enough time to make it to the theatre 20 minutes away for my 6:30 call time). We stayed and painted the floor. I got to bed at 12:30am on a work night.

I’m tired. I’m chronicly cranky. I’m unpleasant.

That's Better